she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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