Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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