woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
