I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
