You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
