please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just googled if crying burns calories
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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