the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm having to shit out rocks
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
