Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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