Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
