okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
