anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
