i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
