They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
