i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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