plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
