I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you inspire me to be a worse person
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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