Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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