dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize