i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
