My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
