I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
