No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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