it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
