that's an acceptable place to lick
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
