god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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