I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
