No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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