he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
