This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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