i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize