I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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