Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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