Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize