sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
