I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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