Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
