look no pants
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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