Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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