she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
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I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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