Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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