she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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