I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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