why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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