we have pet lesbian snakes
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
