we made out on top of his cat.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
