It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
