First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
