help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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