I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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