i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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