This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize