Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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