I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
