I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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