Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I believe in your delicious
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
