How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
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Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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